If You Are Not Making Someones Life Better Everyday

Then You Are Probably Wasting Your Time On Earth

Oh my
I lost my breath
She's insanely beautiful
She lives in my dreams
=D
I wish i wasn't Born...
hmm...
this week hasnt been that great of a week for me

well up till now it hasn't... its been a really TOUGH week


...1 day left

time to pack up
Don't You Hate It when you feel that your not needed, useless, and a waste of space

when you feel like your never heard
So you just sit there silently.. Or just stand there with your lips stuck together

The many days when you feel like a loner, despite everyone being around you

No smile on your face, no emotions in your eyes
..of course you do laugh now and again at your friends antics

You hide it well,
90% don't notice
5% take notice or "seem" to care
4.9% ask if they could do anything to help
0.1% actually really care about you and take action.. Or attempt to take action

(Note: you who read this probably think your the 4.9% or the 0.1%)

Right now, you feel like your heart is small, or made of stone or cold steel
..well guess what it is, and your starting to take pride in that...even more than your hair that seems to defy gravity
That's right your fauxhawked hair means nothing to you when you "want" to be heartless. Your not heartless, you just like seeing people happier than you and try to do anything for them, even if it means making yourself unhappy.

It's not a good life, you don't like it and you want to change but at the same time you want too keep life as it is. It's the only way of life you know. Granted that it's changed from the begining,
but the principle is the same:
Others needs > Yours

(some of you will think that's untrue, that's cause you don't notice the little things or even
the big things [you are the 90%])

Right now you need the 4.9% and 0.1%
...But they're not there,
Even if they come you'll push them away
To you that's the way it should be



don't you hate when you feel uselessly depressed

???: You know what your always going to be the same..
Me: what are you talking about, I've changed so much
???: No, not that
Me: Then what do you mean
???: Your going to spend your life making others feel good, and your always going to put their feelings before yours--
Me: --but that's a good thing on the most part
???: not really you idiot, your kinda like a prostitute... except you don't charge people money
Me: and no STDs
???: haha.. well its a bad habit
Me: ..weird as it sounds, I like seeing others happy
???: *gasp* emotionless chiraag actually cares (in a tone of sarcasm)
Me: shut the fuck up, whats wrong with that?
???: I'm trying to tell you to be selfish
Me: I'm plenty selfish
???: psh..stop trying to make others happy, that's no way to make yourself happy
Me: ...yea but it got me this far T__T
???: like i said, your never gonna change

She has a point I'm never going to change
First of all Happy Diwali to all


...now to the important things

I'm sick, YAY!

5 days

7 days

and.. i havent done my essay outline.. and i still haven't finished my xfactor bit


AND
i'm an idiot
Yes indeed Chi, I think you should be very happy there

Haha yes... It's a new reign of terror


(yes, Chiraag is now officially crazy)


9 days

hmm.. i think 13 days
(ignore the title)
My mood's in a Downward spiral.. oh joy

it wont seem to level or rise... just keeps falling (Y)

T__T
But I think I'll Cry at MY funeral

Hmm.. Your face

Can't wait for this weekend


...15 days (roughly) D:

That is all


..so um, despite to make the countdown dramatic i made an error, LOL

so lets do this again

THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS

...17 days
Let the countdown begin

..16 days



" Where Did I go wrong, I Lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness "

I'm going crazy
no seriously i am
why is that I am slowly losing the little sanity and control

FUCK
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE

INSTEAD OF READING THIS BLOG

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

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