Cafe night was tonight it was pretty live
..the hours leading up to it were not so live

let me take you back 2 hours before 5:30pm...
i totally blanked out when i got home...
not cause i was tired and not cause i was nervous.. like everything just went blank
and no
I was not asleep
..luckily i was on my bed at the time
but yea, my brain did a total shut down, although i remember having a sharp headache before it went dark and all my muscles in my body tensed up at the same time and poof i was out
and then
*Poof*
I was back again after a bit and I was really dizzy

Then i realized that i had to go to school cause it was like almost 4 and i still haven't showered
so i quickly showered and got ready and was going to head out

and i duno what got into me but i kept forgetting things in my house
I walked in out about 3 times... first time i forgot my leather jacket, then i forgot my performer ID thingy, then i forgot my money >__>

so anyway i was walking at a quick pace because i believe it was already like 4:40
and after awhile it sounded like i could hear my pulse and i was like "WTF". and in truth i said that out loud and some old lady looked at me like O_o

...so yea i slowed down to a really slow pace so my heart rate would go down
luckly the temperature was somewhat chilly
the whole night my chest felt sore and i had random headaches
Basically

1. If i overheat my body will shut down
2. I cant let my blood pressure rise dramatically
   

(even if it already does randomly on its owns)

and when I'm in these moments I feel really raged, angry depressed, agitated, destructive, evil, spontaneous, Doubtful, bleh and extremely bitter

Well at least i had a 3 month time span where none of this shit was happening and now... it starts again

...Why Am I telling you, I'll go to my Doctor tomorrow (Y)

But overall it was a good night, I enjoyed the performances and all da happenings that went on :)

Cbox recommanded : ]